A Prayer For Myself

Dear Lord, I know that my Mother needs a true partner and helper in her life, who also treats her and April with love and respect, but I realize now that I am only getting in the way by trying to be that helper myself. I am getting in the way and I am overwhelming myself and by trying to be all things to all people, I am become unable to really help anyone, much less myself and my own daughter and family. LORD, I am crying out to you for help, for a way to change this situation so that we can all be more content and more able to serve your purposes. Lord, I feel like you have been leading me to this longer than I can quite comprehend, and I am so sorry that I let my fear overcome me when I should have been stepping out in faith long before this. Lord, Please teach me the way You would have me go on, show me where I can do the most good toward Your will for me and Your calling to me. Allow me to stop thinking of possible changes like a divorce between my Mother and I, allow me to realize that we probably are not the best things for each other and that it is unhealthy that I even think that. Lord, help me let go! I have the hardest time of all with letting go and letting you lead. I claim to know that You will protect me and take care of me, and yet, I keep trying to fix things that I should just pray about. Please, heal these parts of my heart that are grieving for a way of life I need to leave behind me, heal my mind of these perverse ways of thinking that have only led to hurting and relationships that don’t work. Help me not to keep chewing on old insults and allowing myself to be hurt by what other people say and think, because You are what matters, and I and my husband are who You say we are in Your word, not who anyone else accuses us of being, including my Mother. Lord, we pray You usher in new understanding between us as a family and allow us the space we need to be able to be good for each other again. I pray You show us how not to dwell on old hurts, and how not to hurt each other anymore. I Thank You for the clarity that has brought us to these decisions and for keeping the paths in front of us clear as well. In Jesus’ Holy Name, Amen.