A Prayer Over My Mothering

I am very lucky to have the good job I have. I’ve been lucky to have it for 12 years. Still, my life has changed a lot lately and the job itself has changed over the years. I find myself now wondering if I’m called to do this job as I once was.
I am blessed to be able to work and also have my daughter along, but it also creates challenges to do so. I am often wondering what would be best for my baby and my client, because my attention is always split now. It’s kind of like I get to do all the work of a Stay at Home Mom, and do it all while doing all the work of my actual job as a working Mom.
The worries are daily. Would it be better to have my daughter in daycare so she got some kind of more structured schedule and routine, so the people would be there to focus on her, instead of always distracted from helping her? I work nights often of late and it bothers me so much to have to wake her sleeping self up to take her home. I hate also having to get her back to bed there. It’s no wonder she never has gotten into a routine at night and learned to sleep well. This also often leads to missed baths and teeth brushings and that adds to the motherly guilt and worry and questioning.
Other days I dress her while she’s still sleeping, or sometimes on the days we’ll work that late, and put her in the car to eat her breakfast on the road. I could wake her up earlier instead, should I do that? Would that help?
It’s not that she has some sort of awful time, and like I said, I’m blessed to have my job, I know. I’ve worked here 12 years now and I finally make more per hour than the years I’ve worked here. I have benefits which have been hard to come by in the years after the bubble pop. I get to see my sister and my daughter gets to see her aunt. But… but… there’s always the worry and the questions. There’s always this idea that I could be doing it better, giving her a better life.
It actually doesn’t help that my husband makes enough money that if we wanted to and were careful we could exist on only his income. It makes it harder, kind of, because it gives me this idea that I should be being a stay at home mom full time, that that would be the best thing for this little growing person who is so wonderful and needs so much attention. It just makes the questions bigger.
Meanwhile, Alice loves stimulation and going places and doing things constantly, and while she needs and wants a lot of attention and I feel divided and like I’m doing neither job as well as I’d like, she misses her Aunt when we don’t come to work. She asks to go places all the time when we do stay home. Am I worrying for nothing?
And in the end, I realize, that all I need to do is pray. The answers all sit with God, and He has made this challenge particularly for me, to grow my Spirit in the direction He is leading me. And Alice. If I believe He is leading me, I have to further believe He is leading and forming her.

And so the prayer:

Lord,
I know You have given me this challenge for a reason. I know I need to give these worries up to You and allow You to work out the solution to what feels like an impossible question. I know that what to me feels like it would be reopening of old wounds to even speak about, to You it is nothing but a speck to be blown away. I pray today that You work in this situation. Give me the right words to speak about what I think I need and what I think I need to do for my baby and myself, give me the right way to handle this situation. And show me, Lord, what will be best for her in the long run. Teach me how to Mother with the love and Grace only You can supply, and show me where You are calling me now. Give me Your leading, Lord, as strong as I once felt it. Allow me to see clearly my path again, and to be able to take my daughter on that walk with me, as I carry her everywhere else.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

A Prayer Over My Writing

1 Corinthians 4:7

For who regards you as superior? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it?

1 Peter 4:10 ESV

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace:

Romans 12:6-8 ESV

Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them: if prophecy, in proportion to our faith; if service, in our serving; the one who teaches, in his teaching; the one who exhorts, in his exhortation; the one who contributes, in generosity; the one who leads, with zeal; the one who does acts of mercy, with cheerfulness.

Lord, You know I have always, my whole waking and able life been of a mind that God made me to write and tell stories. And You know that once Alice was born I was finally able to write and self publish my first novel. But, Lord, You know as well that I am intimidated and feel futile about writing because as much as I’m finally able to get words on page and out into the world, I see no earthly returns and no recognition. Remind me, Lord, that the gifts You give are for Your Glory, not mine. I need to keep using my gifts and talents because You find pleasure in knowing I am doing what I am called to do, but also because You have a plan much more intricate than I can see. Remind me I am sewing seeds, Lord. Remind me that this novel may sit mostly unread on a virtual shelf for what feels like ages to me, but You gave me the dream to write it, the ability to do so, and the reason for it is beyond me because it is Your reason. Please, Lord, bless that work to Your purposes, guide me onto Your path for what to use this gift for. Lord, I know You can make any request a reality and I pray You will allow me to someday help support my family with this gift and be able to share my stories with the world a large in a much grander way. I Thank You, Lord, for the gift of language and the love of it I have been given and I Thank You so so much for how this gift nourishes and refreshes my Spirit!
In Jesus’ Name, Amen.

I hesitated to add this part, but feel like I need to: If you’d like to read my first novel please click here: http://tinyurl.com/ojq5yvw

A Prayer For Those Waiting on A Child

Psalm 127:3-5 ESV

Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth. Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them! He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his enemies in the gate.

Genesis 1:28 ESV

And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Psalm 113:9 ESV

He gives the barren woman a home, making her the joyous mother of children. Praise the Lord!

Lord, I pray today remembering that You do not make idle promises or proclamations, and that You have put the dream of a woman’s heart there for her good. I know You are working to bless my friends and family who are waiting on children. I can see, Lord, that it is so hard for them to wait, and to be patient in their Faith. But we know You put the dream of parenthood in their hearts for a reason, and so tonight, we pray you’ll show them if there is anything blocking their paths to that dream, just like Balaam and the donkey. We pray, Lord, that You provide them strength and hope in their waiting time, and keep their hearts open to where You are leading them. Don’t let fear blind them from seeing if You have an alternate plan or a different way of delivering their dream, Lord. We Thank You that You are so faithful, so steadfast, that we can count on Your providence here. We Thank You that we know You can heal anything in them that is preventing this physically, and we pray specifically that You provide that tonight, Lord. In Jesus’ Name, Amen

A Prayer In Thanks For Friends And Fellowship

Psalms 55:14
We who had sweet fellowship together Walked in the house of God in the throng.

It is my friend Wendy’s birthday today and I was thinking about her and what a wonderful influence she’s been on me for my whole life. Wendy is actually the mother of a friend from school but she has always seemed like a friend to me too. I remember well always feeling peaceful and calm around her and really liking and looking up to her sweet demeanor when I was a child, and as an adult I’ve had many good chances to fellowship with her. In the surprising way that God works, I think we’ve actually become better friends since their family moved four states away and we have spoken only on Facebook, even. So, today, inspired by Wendy, my prayer is in thanks for the friends and fellows like these that God puts in our lives.

Lord, I am so grateful for the people you have put into my life to be friends to me in my good times and my hard moments. I can see looking back that You have put the right people near me to sow seeds of faith and right behavior. I am so happy to have yet another reminder that You have always watched over me and had such a loving hand in my life. I can not express in words how sweet it feels to look back over my life and see people like my friend Wendy, and the many others who you have put in my path to bless me and to allow me to serve You by blessing in return. I hope I have done an adequate job of returning their favors and I pray You give me the tools to be more like these great friends, blessing people in the example of Christ. Lord, today I pray a special blessing on Wendy and my other friends who are out in the world sowing seeds for You. I pray you be with all those in my life who have been a blessing to me, bring them all closer to You, Lord, and bless their lives in the monumental ways that only You can do. I love them all so, Lord, and I know they are Your special messengers here on Earth.
Amen.

A Mother’s Prayer

Proverbs 31:25-30 ESV
Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all.”

Isaiah 49:15 ESV
“Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you.

Psalm 127:3 ESV
Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.

Lord, I am so weary at times. You have blessed me with the dream of my heart, given me this little person to love and care for, who I longed to be a Mother to. Oh how I prayed to be a Mom, how I ached to have tiny arms around my neck and drooly kisses on my cheek. And I am so awed that You have given me this gift, Lord, so humbled that You would trust me with this tiny soul You cherished and created. Please, Lord, be a reminder to me when I am weary, let me see her through Your eyes when I am frustrated and tired. I do not want to speak harsh words, Lord, and yet sometimes I find I do. Soften my tongue to her, Lord, soften my ways. Make them as soft as my heart is for her. Allow me to be loving even in my discipline as You are for us, Lord. Show me how to take a breath before reacting, how to remind myself that these moments are fleeting and soon I will want them back. She is already growing so fast, Lord. Write these moments on my heart, let me never forget the sweetness of seeing my baby grow and become all You have called her to be. Let me never forget as she is growing to take the time to appreciate even the most wearying of days, because someday I will wish that I could relive them. She is sweetness and light and life and laughter and love, Lord, and all wonderful things You’ve created her to be, don’t let me be the dampener of that wonderful spirit. Do not let my complaining tongue injure the precious times we have together, Lord, or that beautiful light in her. Help me be generous with my time, always recalling that she will grow too fast. Help me be unselfish of my body and my space, always recalling that she will soon feel too far away. Help me to be humble and show her grace, as You have always shown to me. Lord, You’ve called me to Mother, now I call on You to help me do it better. Give me patience for every hard moment, Lord, and let me teach her to Praise Your Name.
In Jesus’ Name, Amen

A Prayer About Judging and Being Judged.

Luke 6:37
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.

Lord,
I find this to be one of the hardest things to live by in studying Your Word. I find myself talking about people who judge and realize that even talking about that is a judgment I’m making when I shouldn’t. I find myself feeling too often bothered by what I hear others have said of me, or even what I imagine they may be thinking of me. I have imaginary conversations justifying myself against their imagined judgments and it is a waste of time that could be spent in Your service or on Your path for me. Take from me this urge to pick at myself and others, please, Lord. Help me to understand that I need to focus on you and Your precepts as set down in Your Word. Please, Lord, create in me not only a clean heart, but a heart that does not judge. Not others, or myself. Allow me not to hear the devil’s voice in my head telling me that others are thinking this way or that about me. Allow me to guard my heart against these attacks and to remember You have forgiven me already where I fall short, You have also forgiven others and called me to do so as well. Teach me to be more like You, Lord, more like Your earthbound Son. Help me to hold on to the humility I know is right, Lord, help me to never open my mouth with my opinion in front of my knowledge that I am just another among all of us who are here for Your Glory, and not our own. Most of all, Lord, remind me that what other people think of me is not my business and is not important because I am a child of Yours, and Your opinion on me is set in Your Word. I know I am beloved, and saved by Grace, and that is what should set my value in my own mind. In Jesus’ Holy Name, Amen.

A Prayer of Thanks and Praise When I Fail

 They traded God’s truth for a lie, and they worshipped and served the creation instead of the creator, who is blessed forever. Amen. – Romans 1:25

I admit, one of the things I struggle with the most is learning good stewardship. I find that I almost always fail God’s trays if they involve money. I had been getting a bit desperate in my prayers about this lately. My husband and I are always trying so hard to improve our stewardship, keep tithing, pay off our debts, and remember when we spend that this is money God provided us by His Grace in giving us jobs… but it’s still so hard sometimes. Our rather so easy to get behind again and again. And I try to make myself feel better by reminding myself that we always do better than we used to, that we’ve never as far behind as we used to be, but all of that just indicates that we are not actually giving up our struggles top God’s hand. When God is in control, I don’t need to justify, I am justified through Him. Not only that, but I start to get nervous and panicky and think that there must be something I’m not doing right, some key I have yet to find that will give me the self control to always stay within my budget. And then I realize, all that is needed for all of this, to become the person I know God is leading me to be is to keep studying His Word and following His path through prayer and that study. It is such a relief!

On that note, will you pray with me?

Lord, I fail almost all the time to be a good or even adequate steward with the funds You give my family. I see myself falling short so often and I get frustrated and feel like giving up, but then Father, I engender that You have saved Mr, by Grace. I remember that I can thank YOU for all the times I’ve done better, for all the moments I’ve avoided temptation, and I can Thank You because You will be there in furious, disciplining me and testing me over and over so that I can improve and grow. I thank You for every low moment You’ve gotten me through already (all of them!) And all the low moments too l know You’ll help me through as I continue to study Your Word and grow in Your Love and Grace. Thank You mostly, Lord, for the rest You provide so that I may praise You even in user another minor storm. Praise Jesus’ Holy Name, Amen